The Psychology of Falling out of Escrow
- Nick Cunningham
- Jun 5
- 2 min read
Updated: Jun 13
Or why losing your favorite dessert can be like shopping for your dream home.
You head out for dessert at your favorite spot.
You always get the Apple Pie.
It’s automatic. No thinking required.
It’s your default. Your brain’s shortcut.
A little mental “yes.”
But this time, the Apple Pie is gone.
They discontinued it.
Now what?
You pause.
You grab the menu.
You scan the other dishes and hesitate.
You ask your friend what they plan to order.
The server makes a few recommendations.
Eventually, you make a new choice. But it’s slower. More effortful.
You had to think.
That’s how our brains work—on autopilot until they cannot.
Psychologists call this thinking System 1 vs. System 2.
System 1 is fast and intuitive. It loves Apple Pie and repeats what it knows.
System 2 is slower. It shows up when something doesn’t go as expected and decision-making gets difficult.
Now imagine shopping for a home.
You had your heart set on that mid-century ranch with the oak tree in the front yard.
It was the one.
But then, it goes pending, or it’s outbid, or rates shift, and it’s out of reach.
Just like that, your “Apple Pie” is gone. And your brain has to reorient itself. What was automatic now becomes deliberate.
Do we want a bigger backyard or a closer commute?
Do you think this layout is pleasing or frustrating?
Should we pause, push, stretch, or settle?
This is where people get stuck.
They’re not indecisive.
They’re just navigating a moment of heuristic breakdown.
Their mental shortcut stopped working, so their deeper brain must work harder to make sense of the options.
The truth is that most homebuyers don’t just pick a house.
They build a new decision framework.
They let go of the dream that didn’t happen and start designing the life they can have—with the tools they have.
And when someone helps them think through it with clarity and care.
That moment of stress becomes a moment of peace.
So if you’re in that pause…
If your “Apple Pie” just disappeared and you’re unsure what to try next…
Know this: It’s normal. It’s human. And it won’t last forever.
You’ll find your dessert.
And maybe this time, you’ll love it even more.
